Jordon Kranda: My Resignation from “Dating”

ATTENTION: This is not my work.. This is a post from Jordon Kranda. I personally understand what he mean. Its like he read my mind! loll… I encourage  you all to subscribe to his blog Jordon Kranda. Also follow him on Twitter @JordonKranda and Facebook Jordon Facebook

bybydate-300x200“I’m fed up with “dating”. I’ve been the guy who dates random girls. I would meet a girl, think she’s cutool (cute and cool), and then I’d just ask her out. The only thing I needed to ask out a girl was her name. This made most of my dates pretty crappy. I didn’t know anything about these girls and the dates would show me that we had nothing in common. However, I’ve changed my ways.

I want to date with purpose. What caused me to change my ways? Through talking with Jesus, I learned something that shocked me. Simply put, I’ve never dated a friend. Every single girl I’ve ever dated was someone I barely even knew. This is true of all of the girls in my past. This has set me up for constant failure.

A wise person once said, “Relationships are always stronger when you are best friends first, and a couple second”. If I want a girlfriend, then she should be my good friend first. I don’t have to be her friend for years, too. When the time is right, it’ll happen, but I can’t force that time.

I’ve been dating with purpose for the past year and a half. To my surprise, this has actually worked. I’m still single, but I’ve dodged many bullets. I’ve wanted to ask out girls, but after being their friend, I discovered that we would be absolutely horrible together. Whether that’s because they love crappy music like Radiohead or they hate bacon or they’re banging random dudes, I have dodged my fair share of bullets.

This hasn’t been easy though. I’ve told Jesus that His way of dating is ridiculous and only breeds passive little Christian boys who don’t have the guts to ask out their “friend”. Then, Jesus reminds me that my concept of dating is actually the ridiculous thing. Jesus tells me to stop pouting like a little baby and start obeying Him. Once He humbles me, he then reminds me that He loves me and that His way will be best for me. And I now believe Him.

To be clear, I’m not going to “court” a girl. I’ve read some articles about “courting” and I’m shocked that people actually do that. No romantic interaction until marriage? What the heck! I ain’t about that life. I have a good reason though. One of my two primary love languages is physical touch. Thou shall not proceed contrary to thy love language. Haha. I haven’t had sex and I won’t until marriage, but give me a break. A kiss won’t do me any harm. If courting works for you, then good for you. I respect your decision. However, courting isn’t the decision God has called me to do.

I’m dating with purpose and you should join me. Some of you might already be doing this, but some of you might not. You might be hesitant to slow things down. I’m with you, but two Bible verse really comfort me when I’m most opposed to slowing things down.

“Love is patient” – 1 Corinthians 13:4a

“Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires” – Song of Songs 3:5

Good things take time and love is a good thing.

A girlfriend or a boyfriend should be your friend first.

Join me in not rushing your relationships.”

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See more at: http://www.jordankranda.com/2013/11/27/my-resignation-from-dating/#sthash.G17VJTje.dpuf

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I’m fed up with “dating”. I’ve been the guy who dates random girls. I would meet a girl, think she’s cutool (cute and cool), and then I’d just ask her out. The only thing I needed to ask out a girl was her name. This made most of my dates pretty crappy. I didn’t know anything about these girls and the dates would show me that we had nothing in common. However, I’ve changed my ways.

I want to date with purpose. What caused me to change my ways? Through talking with Jesus, I learned something that shocked me. Simply put, I’ve never dated a friend. Every single girl I’ve ever dated was someone I barely even knew. This is true of all of the girls in my past. This has set me up for constant failure.

A wise person once said, “Relationships are always stronger when you are best friends first, and a couple second”. If I want a girlfriend, then she should be my good friend first. I don’t have to be her friend for years, too. When the time is right, it’ll happen, but I can’t force that time.

I’ve been dating with purpose for the past year and a half. To my surprise, this has actually worked. I’m still single, but I’ve dodged many bullets. I’ve wanted to ask out girls, but after being their friend, I discovered that we would be absolutely horrible together. Whether that’s because they love crappy music like Radiohead or they hate bacon or they’re banging random dudes, I have dodged my fair share of bullets.

This hasn’t been easy though. I’ve told Jesus that His way of dating is ridiculous and only breeds passive little Christian boys who don’t have the guts to ask out their “friend”. Then, Jesus reminds me that my concept of dating is actually the ridiculous thing. Jesus tells me to stop pouting like a little baby and start obeying Him. Once He humbles me, he then reminds me that He loves me and that His way will be best for me. And I now believe Him.

To be clear, I’m not going to “court” a girl. I’ve read some articles about “courting” and I’m shocked that people actually do that. No romantic interaction until marriage? What the heck! I ain’t about that life. I have a good reason though. One of my two primary love languages is physical touch. Thou shall not proceed contrary to thy love language. Haha. I haven’t had sex and I won’t until marriage, but give me a break. A kiss won’t do me any harm. If courting works for you, then good for you. I respect your decision. However, courting isn’t the decision God has called me to do.

I’m dating with purpose and you should join me. Some of you might already be doing this, but some of you might not. You might be hesitant to slow things down. I’m with you, but two Bible verse really comfort me when I’m most opposed to slowing things down.

“Love is patient” – 1 Corinthians 13:4a

“Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires” – Song of Songs 3:5

Good things take time and love is a good thing.

A girlfriend or a boyfriend should be your friend first.

Join me in not rushing your relationships.

- See more at: http://www.jordankranda.com/2013/11/27/my-resignation-from-dating/#sthash.G17VJTje.dpuf

5 comments

  1. Great read, especially the part about love languages. I was just discussing the importance of knowing each other’s love language with a friend the other day. It’s imperative. I pray your decision moves other men.

    1. Thank you! My mom always tell me to lead by example and people will follow.. So I pray to God that other young men like myself will learn and follow so they soon will lead others..

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